E3 2015 Impressions: Bethesda


In comes the big B with the impressive first push into the new gaming year. Woooooooooooooooooohooooooooo!

E3 has changed a bunch when it comes to the volume of press conferences. Publishers/Developers like Ubisoft are not content with a minor showcase in a console holders press conference. They want their own showcase to display and premiere their games to their fans. Bethesda came out of the gate first and showcased what they have to offer the gaming public and so I wanted to share my thoughts on what they showed and if/how it was rad.

Fallout 4

After the trailer dropped not long ago, I’ve been eager to see more of the game in action. See what two headed animal I can befriend, find bottle caps and talk in a 50’s voice to confused survivors. Thankfully Bethesda heard my internal demands and they presented Fallout in-depth. Revealing that I’m gonna be able to walk around a 50’s house and comment sarcastically about the cereal I’m eating. I’ll converse with a robotic identical monster that is civil to me and loves my wife. Then see it all explode because Dr. Strangelove can finally walk.

What was truly impressive was the amount of customization and crafting available to the player. From deciding on noses, genitalia, and building up a shelter, I can easily see myself burning hours into creating my own bro pad/diner for all the bros and some of the ladies.

My previous experience with Fallout 3 wasn’t the most fulfilling experience, I see what people like but the aesthetic was so grimy and kinda ugly that I wan’t interested in staying long at the nuclear wasteland. But a cleaner aesthetic and sharper graphics makes the game look far more appealing to me and frankly kinda jazzed about hopping into the game world. I won’t even have to wait long since it’s hitting stores and this fall. So grab a pit-boy, slam a nuke-cola and lets hop on down to the wasteland!


You know what I never get to do in games? Murder. Everything from GTA to Manhunt, all I seem to be able to do is simulate hugs toward my opponents, and you know what? I’m tired of it! Thankfully Id Software recognized we’re all lacking games that give us big guns and blood-filled enemies to shoot. Which makes me and I think the entirety of parents groups quite happy.

Doom has never really gotten far from it’s original release. When Doom is thrown around in conversation people think for the old PC blocky game. I’ve never played Doom 3, and I think everyone including Id would like to forget about Rage. Then comes this new Doom, build with the original in mind and yet feels distinctively modern. What I saw looks interesting and something I might want to try, but I honestly don’t think I’m the audience for it. I like interesting worlds to explore and interesting ways to interact with it. Thick bro’s with big ass guns and a desire to murdalize hell’s minions, is a bit much for me. Like a Jane Austin novel, or skip rope. A for effort, but Imma gonna be playing both Fallout and Dishonored.

Dishonored 2

Speaking of which, we got a nice slick CGI trailer for the second instalment of the official Pied Piper game! Not exactly. Although instead of rats we might be the maestro of mosquito looking things. But honestly, let’s give the fans of Dishonored a nice two clap for ensuring that this great franchise can continue to another instalment. Clap clap.

What impressed me is the ability to play the damsel from the first game, young Emily who now can use tentacle hook-shots and kicks so much anus. Love the movement and style of the first game, and the ability to play a female assassin is something even Assassins Creed pushes to the background. Oh shit! Shots Fired!!!

It looks awesome and I’m eager to play. I’m gonna have to wait. But as someone who often avoid public toilets, I know how to hold it till the right time.

Now let’s move over to Microsoft and Derek’s less sarcastic commentary.

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