If you’re a fan of wrestling you know of Wresltemania. It’s the biggest event of the year in wrestling, and is sometimes a very controversial event with fans often questioning the bookers decisions this was one of those nights. Let’s get into it.
Heavyweight Title Match: Shamus vs. Daniel Bryan
This match didn’t have any build other than what Bryan has done over the past few months, and it shows in this match. The match begins and ends with Bryan kissing AJ and Shamus hitting the Bro Kick. The match lasted, according to WWE 18 seconds but felt more like 5. Shamus won, cause Triple H still thinks he can sell tickets. Trips is still wrong.
We see team Johnny getting ready for their match latter in the night. The Miz tries to give a speech but no one cares. Ace then says that their win will go done in history as a defining moment in WWE history.
The WWE then announce a contest that will be running over the next few days, where a person from the US and Canada (just no Quebecers) can win an all expense paid trip to NY/NJ for next years Mania. Sound cool.
Kane vs. Randy Orton
While the last match was short, the outcome was more or less what I thought it would be, this one however wasn’t. Once again the WWE put on a match with no build and even less interest. These two wrestle for about 15 minutes (making it one of the longest matches Kane’s ever been in) and ended with Kane delivering a super Chock slam off of the second rope to Orton to pick up the win. So does the feud continue? Who cares?
After that match we’re…treated to a promo that features: Mick Foley (paycheck), Santino (doesn’t know better) and a captain from Deadliest Catch (confused as s*it) and their eating crab. It’s a promo for the next season of Deadliest Catch.
After that we get a promo talking about the WWE’s partnership with the US Army.
Intercontinental Title: Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes
These two get about 10 minutes to put on a descent match. It’s hard for Rhodes to work with a guy like the Big Show due to his size. Before the match Cole talks about Rhodes long reign as IC Champ and you know that it’s ending right there. The finish comes when Rhodes goes for a springboard kick only to get speared by Show. Show then hits the WMD for the win. I guess this makes him a Triple Crown winner, but no one brought that up.
We’re then treated to an f*cking K-Mart commercial featuring everyone’s favourite Triple Project Shamus. It’s stupid and shouldn’t be on a PPV let alone Wrestlemania.
After that theirs something that deals with the Diva’s or something. Which brings us into out next match.
Kelly Kelly/Maria Menounos vs. Beth Phoenix/EVE
This one plays out pretty much like you would think. I have to point out that Menounos apparently cracked ribs during the Dancing with the Stars and was a trooper for being in this match. She and Kelly win, surprise.
After that match we see our only appearance of Matt Striker on the card as he interviews Shawn Michael about the Hell in a Cell. He says that he has the power to end the streak and he seems to be cool with that.
After the interview JR comes out to the announce booth and takes his place. Please note that he had some awesome facial hair.
Hell in a Cell: Triple H vs. Undertaker
The thing that confused me about this match was that Michael, Tripes and Taker all had entrances before the Cell was lowered. Also the Cell had it’s own entrance music, Metallica. The cell itself was weird; it was maybe five feet shorter in width than normal, they had to squeeze between the cage and the ring.
These two got about 40 minutes to wrestle each other. I’m happy to say that this was the match of the night for me. They beat the hell out of each other. The best part was that they didn’t fight outside the cell, and there was some blood!
Some highlights of the match came when Trips yelled at Michael to call the match when Michael was going to Taker put him in the Hell’s Gate, this let Trips hit Taker with the sledge hammer. It looked pretty good.
The finish comes with a beaten Trips yelling at Taker to finish him (I think he tells him to f*ck himself, it gets blurred out) then Taker hits the third Tombstone and gets the victory. The three share a moment after the match as Taker and Michael help Trips out of the stadium. Match of the Night.
More promo’s then you can shake a Slim Jim at:
More promo’s…great. The first was for the WWE’s Slim Jim promotion were they would donate Slim Jims to the army if you bought them. They apparently reached their goal so good for them.
After that Fink comes out and introduces this years Hall of Fame Class. The biggest pops come from the Horsemen (with Flair) and Edge. He was a WWE made star and the fans love him, and #ThankyouEdge trends on Twitter.
Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy:
Following the Hall of Fame, the next match determined who would run Raw and Smackdown. This match is a mess and only lasts for about 12 minutes. A 10-man tag (along with other things) didn’t work in Invasion so a 12-man tag doesn’t work here.
The finish comes when EVE enters the ring distracting Ryder and letting Miz get his finisher and letting Team Ace win. After the match EVE kicks Ryder in the ballz and walks away.
Even More Promo’s…yeah:
We get a short promo for the next PPV Extreme Rules, then some WWE press stuff. After that we get Team Johnny celebrating back stage near CM Punk. Johnny says if he get’s DQ’d in the match, he’ll lose the belt to Jericho. Why? Cause he’s a heel and it’s a heelish thing to do.
WWE Title: Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk
This was the match that I was looking most forward to at the event and…it wasn’t bad but it’s wasn’t as good as it could have been. Right off the bat they play into the whole not being DQ’d with Jericho trying to make Punk angry by shouting things about his family. At one point Punk has a chair and nearly hits Jericho in the head, but realizes he has to rise above hate (sorry that’s the next match). There are some good counters in the match with Punk trying to go for the GTS but takes too long shouting “Best in the World” and Jericho counters into the Walls of Jericho. The finish comes when Jericho tries to roll Punk up, but Punk gets the Anaconda Vice on Jericho. Despite trying to rollout of the move Jericho eventually tabs.
Stop with the f*cking promos:
After that match we get a short promo for next years Mania in New Jersey. After that…Brodus Clay comes out and…phones his mama. Yes this happens. Then his mama and her “bridge club” come out and dances. After that we get another commercial this time for the upcoming G.I. Joe: Retribution film.
The Rock vs. John Cena
So here comes the moment that we’ve been waiting for. The people champ vs. Cena.
Before they come out we get two artists performing. They don’t play them down, but just play then they come out. First it’s Machine Gun Kelly for Cena and then Flo rida for the Rock. Also note that Rihanna wasn’t there, I guess she though that CM Punk was going to wrestle Chris Brown.
After the concert the match begins. The Rock look ok. He’s not as fast but he still looks fine. The wrestle for about 30 minutes and it’s pretty good. The Rock doesn’t just carry Cena throughout the match as both of them took there time to have a good match.
The finish comes when Cena tries to hit his version of the People’s Elbow only to have the Rock hit the Rock bottom and win the match. Now here’s my question, if Cena is you star, why does he lose to a man who’s not going to be performing every week? This is just a stupid decision.
In the end…
While this wasn’t as bad as Wrestlemania 9 (f*ck you Hulk Hogan) this wasn’t the best. It could have been so much better. However it seemed to be an event that was meant to be the opposite of what people would of thought. The best match of the night was the Trips/Taker match and shouldn’t be missed. It you can look that match up, and if you have time the Cena/Rock and Punk/Jericho matches, everything else will be forgotten just like Wresltemania 11.